| Excerpt from the book: ©2008 "...AND THEN I'LL BE HAPPY!" by Kristen Houghton INTRODUCTION: On a vacation in the Caribbean, where I should have been happy, carefree, and most certainly not dieting, I was miserable. Why? The number on the scale wasn’t the “right” number.That number on the scale, (how dare resorts put a damn scale in the bathroom anyway?!) dictated whether I was going to be happy or not on vacation. As I once again pulled out a crumpled calorie counter at a five star restaurant before ordering dinner my husband shook his head in amazement, smiled at me sympathetically, and asked, “Don’t you ever allow yourself to enjoy anything and be happy?” I was shocked for two reasons. One: that he had used the word “allow” in reference to how I treated myself, and two, because, though I hated to admit it even to myself, my answer to his question was a definite no, I never did. But then, how could I allow myself to enjoy anything? None of the conditions I always set for happiness, weight included, were ever met! According to my convoluted way of thinking, I didn’t deserve happiness. Rather than seeing myself as the sum of many good parts, I saw only one thing: my failure to achieve the perfect number. In every picture taken of me as an adult I can not only tell you when it was, where it was, what I was doing, but the exact weight I was! I allowed a number on a scale to affect all the events in my life. But it wasn’t just the number on the scale; like Goldilocks in “The Three Bears” everything in my life had to be “just right” in order for me to be happy. It was confusing because deep inside I knew I looked good. I wasn't "overweight;" I just wasn't the "perfect" number. I was a dancer, still danced for exercise, and played a wicked game of tennis. I loved my job, had a great husband, a fantastic circle of friends, had won awards for my work; yet all that did not seem to matter. I made myself miserable! My husband was right; I didn't allow myself to be happy, I was a master at sabotaging my own happiness. Back from vacation, I wrote an article in my column about the incident and how it was true that I never, ever allowed myself to be happy. I wrote about the “hows and whys” that made women saboteurs of their own happiness. I was surprised to find that I was not alone. The response to the article was overwhelming! I received an enormous amount of mail from women in all walks of life, even one from Dr. Robyn DeVal Spirtas, a popular talk show host! There were hundreds of women who thought the exact same way I did: they felt they should be happy but were “waiting for the right time.” For them, as for me, happiness is conditional. We all suffer from what I call The Goldilocks Syndrome.™ The idea for "...AND THEN I'LL BE HAPPY!" was born. _____________________________________________________________________________________________ copyright © 2008 All Rights Reserved "...AND THEN I'LL BE HAPPY!" by Kristen Houghton All material on this site was written by Kristen Houghton and may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed, wholly or in any part, without the express written permission of Kristen Houghton. The Goldilocks Syndrome™ is the registered name of a series of seminars created, written and presented by Kristen Houghton. All rights reserved. Home Page Meet Kristen Book Information Articles Media and Links Calendar Images Contact Info |
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