| Please! Stop the "Mommy Writers" Now! by Kristen Houghton I like to think of myself as a sophisticated humorist, a writer whose work is more on par with “Sex and the City” by Candace Bushnell than “The Grass is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank” by Erma Bombeck. That being said I will also state that Erma was downright hilarious at times. City girl that I am, though, I didn’t relate to her folksy style of writing about marriage and raising children. Still, Erma was funny and she never, thank God, resorted to bathroom humor. She wasn’t what I call a “Mommy Writer.” “Mommy” writers are a new breed who glorify the most mundane activity of their children in the misguided idea that we’re all interested in hearing about the grossest details of their lives. Anyone with a computer is under the impression that every cutesey-poo mommy-child moment they write about on their personal blogs is best seller material. It’s not. Most people like comedy that is devoid of bathroom humor and have never been, nor will ever be, willing members of a small corps of people who laugh at statements like “baby poop,” or chortle reading about baby boys who "pee" in Mommy’s face during a pamper change. We don’t care to read about a lack of sex life with a husband who is a dumb-ass couch potato or how, when you and the potato finally do get together, your child interrupts coitus by walking in on mommy and daddy and asking a “cute” question about why you're exercising in bed. Parents in the 21st century have elevated children to a privileged status that can only be called annoying. Any adult who looks askance at a rude child allowed to run amok in a fancy restaurant, or who disrupt movies their parents have no reason to bring them to, is immediately labeled a child-hater. There are some “Mommy Writers” who have websites that show pictures of themselves as frazzled women with bed hair, baggy jeans, and a rumpled, stained tee shirt, wearing quizzical, bewildered smiles on their faces. They actually pose for the camera looking this way believing that other women will relate, but very few do. A friend of mine showed me a recent blog where the woman chose to write a typical “mommy” story. She related, with serious glee, that during her sixth month of pregnancy with her second child, her first child came down with a minor case of diarrhea after eating peas. When she had to change his messy Huggies the overwhelming smell, and pea-green color made her vomit into the soiled diaper. (Of course the words diarrhea and vomit weren’t the words she used.) More intimate details followed about the diaper change including, yes you guessed it, the requisite “pee-in-the- face” spray statement. The amount and color of your daughter’s bowel movement is not the most interesting thing in the world of literature and writing about your son urinating against a tree in the park isn’t on par with great artistic achievement. It is what it is, plain, simple infantile humor best left to six year olds. To be fair there are some funny writers out there who happen to be mommies, but who have a comedic flair that has nothing to do with bathroom humor, cute kiddies, or inept hubbies. They’re serious humor writers now and will continue to be so when their kids are grown. But not so funny bloggers are out there, blogging away and it seems there’s reason to fear the “poop and puke Mommy writer.” I’m concerned for the future of humor writing. After all, their children will grow up some day. What will they do after their kids are on their own? Will they become “Grammie” writers, women whose sole purpose in life is to write about getting old, couch potato snoring grandfathers,and, not only their grand-kids’ bodily functions, but theirs and their spouses as well? That’s a scary thought! Please, stop the “Mommy Writer” now, before it’s too late!* The future of humor writing depends on you. * And, before you ask, no, I do not hate kids! Home Page Meet Kristen Book Information Articles Media and Links Calendar Publicity Photos Contact Info Copyright© 2008 Kristen Houghton. All rights reserved. This material was written by Kristen Houghton and may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed, wholly or in any part, without the express written permission of Kristen Houghton. Copyright additionally covers all material written by this author under the name CK Houghton |
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